Weirdly, I’ve been taking some anti-impotence medication for my sunburn. It doesn’t cure it, but it keeps the sheets off my legs at night. Are you a bank loan? Because you got my interest. Somebody call the cops, because it’s got to be illegal to look that good! Can I follow you where you’re going right now? Because my parents always told me to follow my dreams.

You are so selfish. You’re going to have that body for the rest of your life and I just want it for one night.A man and his family are staying at a hotel. The man asks the employee at the front desk if the adult channels are disabled. If Disney is the happiest place on Earth, in your arms is no doubt the happiest place in the universe. If your upper lip is Christmas and your lower lip is Thanksgiving, can I come visit sometime in between? Are you a supermarket sample? Because I want to taste you again and again without any sense of shame.

Because everyone deserves to be hit on, to feel wanted, and to experience a good laugh. And if you can combine all those things into the perfect line to say or text to your significant other to keep them from feeling more like a roommate, why wouldn’t you?

Your Take at Adult Jokes

Let’s play carpenter! First, we’ll get hammered, and then I’ll nail you. SFW Dirty Jokes (You May Even Tell Your Kids)

Did you send the invitation to the party between your legs by mail, or do you wanna give it to me in person? While most of the jokes here are not appropriate for anyone too young to hear them, you would be surprised to hear there are some “dirty” jokes that you can tell almost anywhere. If I had to choose between winning the lottery or you…Obviously, I’d choose the money, but it’d be close. And I’d probably use a bunch of my money to woo you.